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Posted 2014-04-15T04:44:22+02:00
People are generally unhappy until they get what they want, then the cycle starts all over again.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

It's not funny haha, it's funny queer.

Comment by Anonymous

This is funny how?????????????????????????????????

Posted 2014-04-15T04:43:52+02:00
I get a Chinese accent when I order Chinese food.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v Are you gay guys so desperate you will fuck anything?

Comment by Anonymous

No, you get my dick in your ass.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:41:29+02:00
Modern Warfare: a $700,000,000 dollar plane drops a $50,000 bomb on a $1.00 tent

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I made your mom lick it all up. Oh yeah she is a lesbian now.

Comment by Anonymous

I dropped a free deuce on your mother's $7,000 implants.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:40:26+02:00
70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

You're certainly proof of that.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:36:25+02:00
A Blood Moon Eclipse is like a sexy woman on her period: It's beautiful, but not worth getting up in the middle of the night to go see.

Epic(4)
Comment by Anonymous

A little blood never hurt anybody.

Comment by Anonymous

Stop submitting statuses here, you suck.

Comment by Anonymous

ahmmm... not sure how a woman's period is beautiful

Posted 2014-04-15T04:32:11+02:00
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk ass.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v Not even close, cupcake.

Comment by Anonymous

First commenter must be a permenent DD based upon their asshol-ish respone.

Comment by Anonymous

No, it's not. It's not even how DD's are picked. You're an asshole if you think like that.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:27:23+02:00
I'm not bragging, but my lovemaking has been called "just shy of adequate."

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Those homeless men will tell you anything for a quarter.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:26:23+02:00
Your mom's so easy her nickname is 'Staples'.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

First commenter is Cum Bucket

Comment by Anonymous

Best Buy isn't cheap... Well, I suppose it is if you have your parents buy you everything.

Comment by Anonymous

Your mom is such a cheap whore her nickname is Bestbuy. and your sisters is BJ's

Posted 2014-04-15T04:24:45+02:00
The saber toothed tiger is probably my favorite saber toothed animal.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V And cooler than your camel toed mother...

Comment by Anonymous

It's cooler than your snagle-toothed mother...

Posted 2014-04-15T04:24:24+02:00
What I learned from trying to play Guitar Hero is that the color orange sends my hand into some kind of weird epileptic panic.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I thought there was a warning on the game that says retards shouldn't play?

Posted 2014-04-15T04:23:25+02:00
Girl so white, when her math teacher asked her why she only did the odd numbered questions on her homework, she replied with "I can't even".

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

You're fuckin' stupid.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:14:39+02:00
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

(2 DOWN) Dude, go fuck yourself and die, dicksuck. Same old pansy-ass losers come on here and talk racist crap because your too much of a pussy coward to say it to someone's faced. You probably got a big black dick shoved down your throat and now you hate yourself for loving it so much so now you have to overcompensate. It's no one's fault that you're too weak and afraid to be able to defend yourself. I wouldn't even waste the 8 seconds it would take to beat the fucking shit out of you, life has already done that. I'm outta here, so now you can go back to talking tough when no one is around.

Comment by Anonymous

V Wow, another cowardly racist! You're parents must've been brother and sister.

Comment by Anonymous

Niggers will be niggers, sigh

Comment by Anonymous

V Yeah, you wanna bite his weenie and HE'S the faggot.

Comment by Anonymous

V imma bite your weenie off you faggot!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Walmart is a better place for you to shop. You will fit in with the other trash just fine.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:13:44+02:00
Boobs: because you can't suck on a girls personality

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Wouldn't you rather suck your daddy's dick?

Posted 2014-04-15T04:12:02+02:00
If you say A for effort I'm going to correct you and say E for effort.

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

You get an F for fuck yourself, faggot.

Comment by Anonymous

& T for nice try.

Comment by Anonymous

Then you get an A for being an asshole.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:09:21+02:00
Now I ain't saying she's a golddigger, but the spelunking helmet and metal shavings on her work gloves certainly suggest she might be

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

I'd say she's a bull-dike.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:07:51+02:00
Shit. I opened the mini-bar and now I can never retire.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

v I wasn't placing any views... I was making a joke myself. You just decided to get all butthurt about it. Oh, and don't toot your horn too much there, pal. You're not as smart as you think... spellcheck much?

Comment by Anonymous

The fact that you come to a comical website to place your conservative views just shows the intelligence of you and you're constituents. Do you not see the irony of it?? Well, maybe I pose too difficult a question for such a man.

Comment by Anonymous

You liberals are all retired now anyway... Oh, you're saying taxes need to be raised so you can drink for free too... got it.

Posted 2014-04-15T04:07:21+02:00
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

How did this get any likes? Ahahaha low standards these days I guess

Comment by Anonymous

Not how it works, douche.

Posted 2014-04-14T18:56:28+02:00
Find someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you as if you are.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Each "v" is a comment down and since there are not 3 comments you must be a total douchebag. Also our trailer has no basement so you strike out there. But I am sure with hard work you could be successful in business. Just learn this phrase "would you like fries with that?"

Comment by Anonymous

vvv written from his parents basement

Comment by Anonymous

Check the asylums because lots of delusional people are there. I am sure they would be able to even tell you this is a great status. Good luck.

Posted 2014-04-14T18:55:59+02:00
I'd be more pissed if you told me who lived through an entire episode of Game of Thrones.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Everyone but Joffrey

Posted 2014-04-14T18:10:14+02:00
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what's going on and there's a lot of wine drinking.

Funny(2)

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