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Posted 2014-10-31T17:23:02+01:00
Just go without makeup for Halloween.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-31T17:20:30+01:00
Is it too early to put on my costume? (I guess I should mention that what I'm being for Halloween is drunk.)

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-31T17:20:11+01:00
Worried about what to be for Halloween? Check your I.D. If you're over 18, you don't have to be anything!

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

No, its great for pedophiles too since they fit right in giving candy to strangers.

Comment by Anonymous

Check out Mr. JoyKill over here

Comment by Anonymous

so fucking stupid. halloween isn't just for kids you faggot

Posted 2014-10-31T17:20:00+01:00
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?

Win(1)
Posted 2014-10-31T15:05:06+01:00
Can the last season of Jersey Shore please just be the cast fighting to death in Hunger Games?

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-31T15:04:59+01:00
I can never tell if it's Halloween or if everyone is just a stupid looking asshole

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

you are a retard

Comment by Anonymous

Mirrors can really fool you.

Posted 2014-10-31T15:00:43+01:00
When I'm dying, open a YouTube video with an ad before it. That way my final moments feel like they last forever.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

It's your life that makes those around you feel like it's taking forever.

Posted 2014-10-30T20:14:25+01:00
You can learn to hate, and you can learn to spell. But apparently it's one or the other.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

U crazie ho.. bitchz trippn...

Posted 2014-10-30T20:13:31+01:00
Well son, I yelled "Damn shawty" as your mother walked by on the street and we've been together ever since

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2014-10-29T22:41:16+01:00
I like my women how I like my coffee, between my legs as I drive.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Like you've ever had coffee

Comment by Anonymous

Around coffee or around women I bet his pants are always wet.

Comment by Anonymous

Wow! You must be a prize catch! NOT~

Posted 2014-10-29T22:28:45+01:00
In order to save money I installed a sound chip into my wallet. Now when it opens it plays a song by Nickelback so I quickly have to close it.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

fucking canadians.

Comment by Anonymous

you have funny posts. keep doing what you do.

Comment by Anonymous

I would rather listen to every Nickleback song on a loop till my ears bled than read another one of your stupid posts. Just sayin.

Posted 2014-10-29T17:46:32+01:00
Instagram me like one of your French toasts.

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I ran out of time yesterday so I sent you a pic of yesterdays french toasts when it came out today. Enjoy.

Comment by Anonymous

Makes no fucking sense!

Posted 2014-10-29T15:59:16+01:00
If a tree falls in the woods it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose.

Fail(2)
Posted 2014-10-29T15:42:34+01:00
My anaconda has a structured settlement but it needs cash now.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-10-29T15:41:28+01:00
Peyton Manning always looks like someone is explaining the internet to him.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Peyton is the one who always pouts when he chokes.

Comment by Anonymous

you mean ELI moron

Posted 2014-10-29T15:41:05+01:00
Probably the hardest part about wearing a deep v-neck shirt is having to constantly look down to make sure you're not having sex.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

This is just stupid fucking shit. Go kill yourself.

Posted 2014-10-29T15:40:37+01:00
I really don't care who wins the game of thrones as long as everybody had fun out there.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-29T15:39:09+01:00
I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.

Epic(2)
Posted 2014-10-29T15:33:26+01:00
Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the "pull out" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I think all you have to do is talk and you will have the same result.

Posted 2014-10-29T15:32:52+01:00
Been at this all-you-can-eat buffet since 6 p.m. last night. I'm still not full. They've called the cops. I'll fucking eat them too.

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Go home, Rosie O'Donnell! You're drunk.


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